After observing him for a while it was clear he was the perfect person to swing with so when he stood next to her with arms folded and a look that showed he wanted to be anywhere but in that room, she asked him to join her and after a brief look of surprise he said yes.
Immediately she changed her expression and her face went from open and welcome to serious, dark and almost sinister.
She turned around to walk towards the hallway. Realizing he hadn’t moved and was staring at her backside she turn back to him and said, “Follow me.”
Reaching the hall she stopped and placed her palms face down near a light switch and the wall opposite slid down and disappeared into the floor to reveal a planetarium. He stood staring in shock so she removed her palms to grab his hand and run inside just as the wall slid back up to its original position.
Still holding his hand she continued to look at him with a sinister expression that did nothing to provide clarity to his bewilderment. Knowing he had questions she took her finger, placed it over his lips and said,
“Sometimes I want to die and sometimes I just feel dead inside. Every role here on earth is the same and already I’ve worn them all or tried them on so it takes a lot for me to jump in joy and still more to fall into a heap of tears. My days are somewhere closer to the middle and nothing about man surprises me anymore, not his evil nor his good because he is me having selected one side but for only a moment.
A doctor once told me it was normal to want to die as long as I didn’t think about it all the time. I figured he probably wanted to die too so I stopped talking about my problems and told him I’d planted an herb garden to kick up the flavors in my growing list of savory recipes. The truth was, I’d planted basil that was dying and had it lived I would have sliced it with a cucumber and added it to a glass of ice water because that was how much time I spent in the creation of savory.
Real is just a notion that folks stumble on incidentally when picking up toilet tissue at the market. I wish it wasn’t so but hell, before you’re born there’s a highly trained group of folks awaiting your mama’s cry to inject you with additives and cover your skin to place your body in hiding. Our nature is hijacked from day one but never would we call the deliverer a trained assassin cause the blame would never end; we’d need to admit our parents put out the hit and then what of their parents; on and on until we’ve concluded some to be syndicates of organized crime and breeding mafia wars; and the others earmarked to breed saints, bernards or holy folks no one can know cause both wear devotion for their food.
The energy spent in the maintenance of falseness or truth is so deeply lost in conjecture and judgement that they’re no more than infantile sword fights on a battlefield of indivisible souls inhaling lies, exhaling truth, inhaling truth and exhaling lies only to bleed in withering grass blades of indifference. Every wrong that feels a right stabs us with a sword when we laugh at the blood and when it hearts we stab at their cry. The only cheer in battle that is true is that which asks for death.
So I come here when that cheer begins to rumble in my heart. It reminds me I’ve made my thoughts more important than they were intended to be, more important than they are. It reminds me life was not intended to be examined from sun up to sun down. It reminds me of where we came from so that each time the cheer is felt I need not be sad should the day arrive that it is louder than the voice of my will to live.
You are like me in some ways so I wanted to share this place with you that it be our special secret. Maybe one day we can talk about the road of love and how you and I have driven the median. For now, let’s just hold hands and watch the stars.”
Clearing his throat he found his voice and said, “I don’t know what to say. I thought you wanted to go to the park and hang out on the swings.”
“Nah. I was talking about my moods, sweetheart.” she answered.
With all spots empty she turned and walked up to the top row to sit in the middle. When he sat down next to her the music began and holding one another they became three hundred sixty-one degrees of eternity.