Sometimes we consider our actions correct or innocent in their nature and sometimes our truth is accurate except when it isn’t, like in times we bury our motivations, willingly or unwillingly.
I once attended a business meeting and took notes on all attendees, for no reason other than wanting to take notes. In observation I’d written that one attendee seemed not to care for the topic at hand. Upon telling that to another individual, he shared with me that he’d been sick and that perhaps it was that which was influencing his mood or behavior, rather than my perception that he wasn’t invested in the topics that were of direct impact to him. That word exchange couldn’t have been more than fifteen seconds, but it stuck with me.
It hadn’t been written but today I realize it was another souvenior my mind walked away with.
It said something about him and was something else that made him stand out. It also said something about me, but I’m only seeing it today, four years later.
For him, it showed his nature was to first consider a person’s ‘environment’ (internal/external) before judging or making conclusions about their behavior. He didn’t ‘know’ the guy per se, so this meant (to me) this was his default way to perceive others. It stood out because he moved from observation to thought, then to analysis and expression very quickly. It was refreshing to observe because it’s not common.
What I see today for me, is that my perceptions sometimes push away other people’s realities, in order that my own reality make sense. This is common yet it’s not how I’ve always been. It takes more time, thought, patience and care to consider another’s environment as an aspect of their behavior, than it does it to look at the behavior as if it just arrived from a black hole of non-inhabited space.
I’d once considered myself highly compassionate yet it occurs to me today that my compassion may exhaust itself with the level of convenience that can be afforded. It may not be true and real compassion in that context.
I’m not sure at the moment and not sure if past definitions or judgements serve value as much as choosing to define and take action to bring truth to the present.
One can never know the impact their nature has on another, whether it be fifteen seconds, four years or a lifetime.
When one is their truest self, they without realization grant those in their presence the freedom to be the same, and if they do not have that freedom, that person instead grants them the inspiration to find it.
I am him as he is me and sometimes I dream of sitting with him in a garden though occasionally we float on a snowy cornflake. We’re always hugging, happy and at peace.